I Feel Like My Name Isn’t Really Mine

New Delhi:

Ananya Panday, who has been receiving stellar reviews for her performance in CTRL, opened up about her struggle with imposter syndrome. Ananya said that she constantly seeks for validation from others on film set as she doubts her own talent. Speaking to News 18, Ananya said, “My imposter syndrome comes from something as simple as when someone says my name. During interviews and stuff, I feel like my name isn’t really mine, and it makes me feel like a third person. That pushes me to suddenly become like someone else. When I see myself on a billboard, I feel like it’s not me that I’m looking at. The same thing happens when I watch one of my films. I watch them like an audience member and forget that it’s actually me on screen.”

Sharing her experience on film set and how she pushes herself to attain perfection, Ananya told News 18, “I constantly need validation because I’m very hard on myself. Even when a director okays my shot, I’m never happy with it. I always feel like I could’ve done it better. If it were up to me, I’d reshoot everything all the time because I know I can always improve.”

Ananya also faced social media trolls and scrutiny for her privileged status during the initial days of her career. On being asked if her imposter syndrome arises from social media angst, Ananya replied, “It depends on the day. Some days, I read something negative and I’m not affected by it. Other days, I keep thinking about how one person on Instagram said I suck, and I start to believe that I might actually suck. This happens more when I’m already having a bad day on set, where I’m struggling with a shot. It’s strange how social media can stay in your mind and impact you in bad ways.”

CTRL explores the dark realities of the cyber world and how it can intrude into the private space of an individual. Apart from Ananya Panday, the movie stars Aparshakti Khurana, Vihaan Samat. The film was released on the streaming giant Netflix. In his review for NDTV, film critic Saibal Chatterjee wrote, “CTRL, in spirit and substance, reinforces Motwane’s proven penchant for turning an established genre on its head. He did just that in Trapped, Bhavesh Joshi Superhero and AK vs AK with varying degrees of success. Since these films were experiments with form and narrative conventions, their commercial (or critical) fate is immaterial.”